2/25/01

Yes, it's me. It really is.

Anne's Journal of Minutiae

Sunday
February 25, 2001

Well, they're at it again. Apparently Senator Dan Burton (you know, the guy who once shook down the Pakistani government for $10k in campaign contributions in exchange for legislative favors?) has reprised his role as Inspector Javert to Bill Clinton's Jean Valjean. He wants to investigate "questionable" last minute pardons by the former president. Hmmm. Questionable pardons you say, Dan? Well, while you're at it, d'ya think you could look into George H.W. Bush's last minute pardons of Casper Weinberger and Oliver North? You know -- Iran-Contra players who might have had to...er...spill any further beans to the Walsh commission regarding that rather TREASONOUS scandal? But thanks to Poppy Bush's 11th hour QUESTIONABLE pardon, those guys went scot-free. Even Casper, blubbering and slobbering, thanked Poppy Bush profusely.

What's that you're saying, Danny-boy? Oh. I forgot. We don't investigate Republicans.

I guess the Repugnants...er...Republicans won't stop persuing Bill Clinton until they're assured that the American people collectively and unequivocally hate his guts. They won't stop until they're assured he'll never, ever be able to run for public office again. They won't stop until they've driven Hillary Clinton out of the Senate on a rail. They won't stop until both Clintons (and, I presume, Chelsea too) are dead. Oh, but then that would make martyrs of the Clintons, wouldn't it? So, I suppose, actually killing all three Clintons is, for now, out of the question.

Most of all, the Repubs want retribution for President Bill Clinton's successful two terms. I mean, how dare the man preside over eight years of peace and prosperity! Damn his eyes!

Meanwhile, gutless and spineless Democrats seem to be joining in the Clinton-hating bloodlust. Never mind that without Clinton, many of them would not be sitting prettily in their House and Senate seats. Former President Jimmy Carter went on record saying that Clinton has "brought shame to the White House." Yeah, well, Jimmeh -- let's face it, you're a bitter and jealous old coot because you weren't elected for a second term. As if you even deserved a second term after your dismal one and only. After four years of your ineffective domestic policy, people were even willing to accept a second-rate, B-movie actor as president. That's pretty bad.

Let's reminisce, shall we, Jimmeh? Excluding the U.S. team from participating in the 1980 Moscow Olympics to protest the invasion of Afghanistan -- now that was a peachy (no pun intended) idea. Did you really think it would do any good, Jimmeh? Oh, and that gasoline crisis -- the way you handled that one, Jimmeh. What a stroke of genius. Bet you didn't have a gas tank nearing empty, realizing that it wasn't your day to fill up because only cars with even-numbered licenses plates were allowed at the pumps that day. Oh, and how 'bout that rather pathetic "rescue" attempt of the Iranian hostages? Yes, we were all so very proud to view the charred remains of the servicemen involved in the ill-fated rescue. Best thing about your leaving the White House, Jimmeh? We finally got to see the "killer bunny" picture.

Meanwhile #2: There are Bushie-scandals aplenty just waiting to be exposed to the air. But does the Whore Media dredge any of it up? Oh no. They're still giving Dumbya his honeymoon (like the one they denied President Bill Clinton). Are they digging to see if Marc Rich had ties to Haliburton Oil and Dick Cheney (you just know he did)? No, they're still feasting with the Repubs on Bill Clinton's bones. Are they investigating the true reason a bunch of Texas oilmen yahoos were allowed to "joyride" in a Navy attack submarine? As in campaign contributions to the Bush/Cheney ticket? ("Here's $250k. Say, can I drive one-a them-there attack subs when yer Prez, George? Hey, maybe we can ram a Japanese fishing boat and drown the fisherfolk onboard. Hot damn!") No, they're still feasting with the Repubs on Bill Clinton's bones. Will the media investigate how Dumbya was able to get his Texas driver's license wiped clean in 1995 (in his first term as guv)? No, they're still feasting with the Repubs on Bill Clinton's bones. Will the media ever question why, as a convicted felon, Dumbya either left the "have you ever been arrested" question on various documents blank -- or answered "no"? (And by the way, just how does a convicted felon manage to become President? Oh, I know -- he has conservative judges to install him there.)No, they're still feasting with the Repubs on Bill Clinton's bones.

There are only two groups of people who have any friggin' guts: the Canadians and the Congressional Black Caucus (Maxine Waters for President!!!).

The Canadians for having the cajones to remind Prez-Select Smirk that it is Canada's policy to refuse convicted felons entry into their country. Reluctantly, however, they explained that they are forced to make an exception in his case because he is the...choke...President of the...choke...United States...gag...cough...choke.

The Congressional Black Caucus for challenging the electoral college vote count and for storming, collectively, out of the House of Reps when their challenge was denied (by a sheepish, cowed Al Gore). The Honorable Maxine Waters of Los Angeles lead the way, not before announcing that they "would never forget, never forgive." These people are true fighters -- every one of them. We need more Democrats like the members of the Congressional Black Caucus -- not the spineless, Dumbya-kissing wussy-wimps we have now. As for the Senate, we could use a few more Barbara Boxers -- the only Senator to call for "no" votes against the Assholecroft monster.

As my buddy Bartcop continually asks, "Why won't the Democrats fight?" The sad truth is that it's easier for them to ram their heads up Smirk's butt. Oh, how I long for 2002...